Well, all is as I expected it would be this break. Christmas has been great, and I have enjoyed spending time with my family but I still am missing way more than I am enjoying. I find myself thinking about others all day and how much I would rather be spending time with them, even it it was doing homework. The simple fact is, I was hoping to get away from some of the drama of school by coming home and relaxing over break, but that was not to be as my own family drama far outweighs that of the school. I just feel trapped by my life right now, and all the problems that are popping up in it are driving me up a wall. I long for the good old days of no worries except for what game I was going to play at recess. One more semester to go and I am out of here for good. One semester of fun and homework and friends and then I am in the real world. The world of a job, and house payments, and getting a car, and feeding myself. The world of responsibility is something that I don't quite feel ready for yet. I have also come to the realization that this will be my last trip home in God only knows how long. After this I have a few breaks, but all of them I am planning on spending elsewhere. After graduation I plan on going wherever I can find work, so this may be my last chance to be home with my family in a long time. Wouldn't it be great if that last time was full of great memories and no family drama?
I feel as though I must again say, that I am homesick here at home. I long to be at my real home, where the people I love are. I miss one person a lot more than everyone else, and every day I am without her makes my heart hurt a little more. I cannot wait until I get to see her again and think about it all the time. I just hope she knows how important she is to me and how much I love her.
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