Everything is A Okay!

So, i know it has been a long time since I have blogged.... I have been very busy with school, theatre, work, friends, and the most amazing girl I have ever met. To make this as brief as possible, I am doing fantastic. Anything that could possibly bug me is far out-shadowed by the good times I am having with the people I love. Senior year so far... Best Year Ever! 

The greatest thing You'll ever learn....

One of my biggest fears in the world is the fear of not being loved by the people I care about the most. Over the past few weeks, I this fear has been pretty much wiped off my mind because of some very amazing people. Something about knowing that someone else care about you... likes you just the way you are.... and wants to spend their time with you just makes my life feel so much better. I am currently on an emotional high, and I am planning on staying here for a long time. I can be a very loving person, and the people that I love I would do ANYTHING for. Absolutely anything. Usually this makes me feel uneasy and vulnerable, but now it feels warranted. I have been praying a lot lately about where my life is supposed to go, what I want, and what is meant for me. It would seem that all of them point in the same direction, and my life has aligned and everything feels right. It is a great feeling. To my best friends, family, and my special someone.... I love you! Thank you for being in my life, and I appreciate you for who you are. 

"The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn, is Just to Love and Be Loved in Return" 

What is it about her

I have recently been reminded of the senior project I worked on a few years ago. It is one of the best experiences in my technical career thus far, and a certain song comes to mind. This song somehow touches me very deeply, and here are some of the lyrics. The song is called What is it about her.


This woman makes me cry
This woman makes me burn
This woman's eye can cut me to the core
This woman builds me up
This woman tears me down
This woman speaks and I can break apart
Could I live without her
And let her go?
How loud must I scream
No!

Don't talk to me like I'm stupid

I spend my days doing homework, going to class, building sets, going to rehearsals, and keeping the theatre in good and working order. The last thing I want to hear every day is that someone thinks I am stupid. Five times today, by 5 separate people, I have been called stupid. I know I am not the smartest person in any subject, but I am not stupid. The fact that people think they can just call me an idiot to my face makes me so angry. I am a pretty non-confrontational person, so for the most part I just take it and try to forget about it. I suppose this blog post is my way of dealing with my frustration at how I fell about it. I would just like people to appreciate the work I do, and how hard I try to make everyone happy and successful. I know I am in the wrong career if approval is something I crave, because as a technician I will never be appreciated. All people will tell me is when I have done something wrong, and what they want me to do to fix it. I don't have a problem with that, but there is a difference between being unappreciated and being insulted. I am going to try to be in a better mood for the rest of the night, and forget about all of this by tomorrow. I guess being stressed with all the crazy thing in my life, and then being insulted repeatedly throughout the day just doesn't have a good effect on me.

Let it out

Did you ever have one of those moments when you were just screaming in your head? Your thoughts were just bursting to come out, but you knew you couldn't say anything about them? Yea... all day today like that. All day.

No I don't Have Any Free Time!

So, my senior year at College is underway and everything is going great. I am, as I always seem to be, super busy! Sometimes I wish I wasn't so busy, but then I realize that I like being busy. I need it. I could have free time, but I choose to fill my life with the things I love. Right now, that means theatre, theatre, theatre, some special people, like best friends and such, and then some more theatre. I like being busy. I really do enjoy getting home at 2 every morning and waking up for class at 8. This year, my senior year, I get to do everything I want! What could be better than that, and what better way to spend my senior year than full of the things I love?

Say What You Need To Say

I don't know what it is about people and not being honest... I think that way too many people just try to get around saying what they really mean. Why do we need to gossip about people behind their backs? If you don't like someone, keep it to your self! There is no reason to go around telling everyone else why you don't like them. As a matter of fact, the opposite is true too. I guess I am just tired of all the drama. People spreading rumors, people telling lies and secrets.... it can get so infuriating! As per usual, I do it too, but I am beginning to see how annoying it all can be. Even with friends, it can be so hard. "What do you wanna do?" This question seems to plague my existence. Everyone wants to do something, why do people feel the need to not say what they want. Life would be so much easier if everyone would just be truthful about what they wanted. I am tired of all the games, trying to guess what people want, picking up clues here and there, or needing to ask other people. Do me a favor people, and figure out what you want. After that, tell the people who need or want to know. I guarantee you they want something too, and if you would just ask, I bet they would tell you.